Hiatus
There has been a lengthy twenty-two-month hiatus in my blog posting! It could be assumed that my odyssey was languishing in the doldrums, and precious little running had been done. Far from it. During this time, I have completed an extreme desert challenge, four ultra-marathon events and had a DNF/time-out 91km into a 107km event.
Whilst this has been a decent return to running post-surgery (knee arthroscopy in autumn 2023); for whatever reason, I have not been motivated to write about my experiences on these runs. The coastline of my adventures is littered with a flotsam of half written neglected posts.
My writing, not my running, had fallen victim to the windless seas of writer’s block. Why? With a couple of exceptions, there has been a general malaise and lack of enthusiasm for my running. Yes, I have been training and participating but with no passion and little enjoyment: going through the motions. I have lacked direction and drive; my head has been full of doubts and uncertainty about goals. Not at all conducive to writing or performance for that matter.
Finally, I am putting pen to paper once again, a sign that perhaps a fair wind has risen and that I am setting a course towards a happier place once again.
One Desert, various trails and a heap of ‘Meh’
The 40 degree blast furnace
Way back in 2023 I planned a year of challenges to mark a new age category: my Diamond Odyssey. This fell victim to my knee injury, but I did salvage the last challenge which was a return to Namibia and a desert ultra challenge in May 2024.
The Namib desert and I have history, and the score was sitting at one all. The desert allowed me to successfully complete a marathon in 2017 but bit back with heat stroke in 2018 while attempting the African leg of my Global Odyssey 100k project. Tthere was unfinished business and I needed to prove I could run an ultra-marathon distance in the Namibian desert.
I found an excellent expedition guide service in Damarana Safaris and we meticulously planned the expedition, support and a stunningly beautiful desert route in Damaraland. It traversed the red desert sand, undulated through rocky lunar landscapes, passed through a village, before running parallel to a riverbed where a family of desert adapted elephants roamed. What more could I want.
What we couldn’t plan for was climate change and the Bergwind misbehaving. The Bergwind is a katabatic wind that blows from the North-East down from the mountains gathering heat as it goes raising the temperature by 10 -15 degrees C and whipping up sand plumes and clouds in the desert.
There was no cool early morning start, it was twenty degrees at 7am as I set out across the sand and it continued to build. Then at 34k the Bergwind kicked in and I found myself running into a 40-degree blast furnace, with occasional sand plumes blowing across the route. I was having to stop every 2k to reduce my heart rate and cool down. My eyes clouded.
As I nudged into ultra distance, I made a controlled and sensible decision to stop. It was the right and safe decision for both myself, and my amazing support crew.
It was a fantastic expedition, and I was comfortable with my decision and truly content with the achievement in such extreme conditions. My business was finished.
This was one of the exceptions mentioned earlier and, I came home with a real buzz ready for the next challenge, or so I thought.
Losing my religion on the pilgrim trails
It is ironic that my next two events were on pilgrim trails: St Cuthbert’s Way 45 and the Pilgrim’s Ultra on St Oswald’s Way and that my pilgrim experience was less positive enlightenment and more disillusion and disenchantment. My performance: mediocrity, damned by faint praise.
St Cuthberts Way 45 (July 2024)
My post Namibia enthusiasm was well and truly curbed by a 46.5-mile slog over the St Cuthbert Way from Melrose to Wooler. I don’t believe for a minute that St Cuthbert in his cassock and sandals took this over hills and bogs! After the first climb over the Eildon Hills, it turned into a frustrated angry stomp. My legs were heavy and my energy almost non-existent, my pace glacial. I admit that I underestimated this event and neither I nor my knee were ready for 6,500 feet of ascent.
But I started and I finished with the help of: a refreshment from the pub in Kirk Yetholm; Red Coke – who knew; the good company of the ‘sisters of mercy’ during the later stages; and the stern talk I had with myself when I flirted briefly with a DNF at Morebattle.
It was a lovely challenging route and the longest distance and greatest ascent since my surgery. I should have had a happy glow of achievement, but instead I felt angry, frustrated and flat. I was unhappy. I had not enjoyed my day.
Pilgrim Ultra (September 2024)
Another pilgrim trail – St Oswald’s Way – the 50k Pilgrims’ Ultra along the stunning Northumbrian coast from Lindisfarne to Craster. We had booked a week’s holiday in the area, and it would have been rude not to. A lovely undulating route in one of my favourite places. How could I fail to have a good day out, especially as my target was simply to finish with no pressure of a self-imposed time?
The route did not disappoint. From the starting backdrop of Lindisfarne Castle, to the causeway, the magnificent walls of Bamburgh castle, the pretty coastal villages of Seahouses and Beadnell, and the ruins of Dunstanburgh castle before finishing at the Jolly Fisherman Inn at Craster. Bar a navigational error that added about 1.5km I made steady, if painfully slow progress (again), to the finish. But just as before I was left flat and vaguely disappointed.
Doubt was beginning to creep in and the dark cumulus cloud of ‘meh’ was building. Is this as good as it gets? Is it age? Is it training? Is it simply my head?
A return to some sort of form?
Stubborn tenacity was kicking in. There would be a race out there that I would run and enjoy. And so, The Dava Way 50k (November 2024) and another test to see if there was any improvement to form and if I could find my old friends ‘Mo and Jo’ along the way.
Another gorgeous route that ran from Grantown-on-Spey to Forres. We were blessed with beautiful autumn day. A chilly and frosty start with mist hanging along the river that burnt away as the sun appeared. Barsome occasional cloudy patch the sun remained for the day.
It was a day of steady progress at a marginally better pace. The result: a finish time far better than I had predicted. It was progress. I did enjoy the day. Taking pleasure in the weather, the route and the landscape around me. The chats with fellow runners along the way.
The day had gone well and I was pleased with my improved performance. But once again I was left with a nagging sense that something was missing. It was bit like the school report comment ‘could do better’.
2025 the good the bad and the ugly
A new year, a new lease and a positive attitude. Time for something new. It would be a light year in terms of events as we had our second family wedding in eight months. My daughters planned that well.
The Good – high fells, clag and 50mph winds
Over the border for The Pennine 39 a lovely low key, friendly event reminiscent of how things were when I first started ultra-running.
It is run over the ‘interesting bit of the Pennine Way’ from Bowlees to Alston. It was a murky atmospheric day, damp and wet from overnight rain. The route did not disappoint. Just beyond the start were the Low and High Force waterfalls cutting through the rocks in a tumble of peaty brown water. The next highlight was the rocky scramble up the side of the cascade at Cauldron’s Snout. After that a traverse over the crags of High Cup Nick before descending to the first checkpoint in Dufton.
It was the interesting bit next. The climb to Old Man Knock then undulating over Great Dun Fell and Crossfell, the highest point of England outside of the Lake District. This is where my big girl pants were needed. As I trudged over these high fells I was enveloped by a thick clag of low wet cloud and battered by 50mph winds doing their best to rip my feet from under me. My heart was racing and my adrenalin was high. I was relieved and very glad to see the iconic ‘Greg’s Hut’ emerge from the mist after getting disorientated coming off Cross Fell. During the long, but undulating descent to Garrigill I left the clag behind, grateful for some visibility at last. From Garrigill it was the final few miles through woods and fields along the riverside to Alston.
That was a seriously good day out. It was hard. It tested me physically and mentally. I had to find my big girl pants. The challenge was less how fast could I cover the ground but how I navigated and coped with the terrain and conditions. Food for thought.
The bad and the ugly
‘I don’t want Greenland to be my last 100k’ was what I said to Alasdair when I entered the Speyside Way 100k. And, I needed to see how I felt about the longer distances. As it currently stands, I still don’t know. An DNF courtesy of an unexpected time-out at the final checkpoint. I had completed 91km and close to 9k feet of ascent with only 16km left to complete.
The route from Aviemore to Buckie passes through some of the most beautiful countryside in the highlands and is not short of ascent and some challenging hills. I made good progress through woods and moorland to the first checkpoint at Grantown-on-Spey well ahead of schedule. The long section to Tamdhu had an unexpected amount of climbing. The clims took a toll and I struggled with my pace and strength. I lost a lot of time, but still made Tamdhu bang on schedule. I pushed on to Craigellachie reaching it twenty minutes ahead of the cut-off.
It then went a bit ‘Pete Tong’. I took some time to eat and change my socks and t-shirt. Then I set an easy pace to the Ben Aigen turn to conserve energy. This meant I got over Ben Aigen at a decent pace. However, the 7 miles of tarmac after that were not my friend. As I approached Fochabers I knew I would be tight for the finish line cut-off. But was confident I could pick up the pace. It wasn’t to be. Had I known that there was a possibility of a timeout at Fochabers I would have made some decisions differently. Taken a shorter stop at Craigellachie. Set a better pace before Ben Aigen and fewer walking breaks on the tarmac. But it was what it was.
Adding insult to injury
The final irony: Garmin has lost almost 9 months of data over 2024 – 2025. What the….. As if things weren’t bad enough. However, I am old school. There is a spreadsheet with every run and training session recorded. The dismal details are there in all too clear black and white.
Now what?
Well, there is nothing like the ignominy of a timeout to kickstart a bit of soul searching and kindle some fighting spirit.
Fundamentally, I have not been enjoying my running.
The exceptions being my Namib challenge and the Pennine 39. What makes them the exceptions?
I have lost my enthusiasm and passion. I am struggling to find and set exciting challenges. My training whilst consistent has been ineffective. I have lacked energy and strength and experienced a high level of fatigue. Hence the lack of progress and performance which I suspect is the heart of my lack of enthusiasm.
Some reading, internet deep-diving and AI prompting has possibly provided an answer. My training may have been consistent, but not appropriate to my age, and my diet lacking. I need to make some significant changes. I need to eat more protein to combat age related loss of muscle bulk/strength.
My strength training had become a little sloppy. I need to work more weight and fewer reps. My mid-week runs have to be shorter and higher intensity. The recommendation for long runs; keep them to a consistent 4 – 5 hours. Then add a back-to-back of 2 -3 hours every second or third week. This will maintain consistency and reduce numbing fatigue which was impacting the effectiveness of training.
I have taken this on board, changed my training regime and tweaked my diet. My aim is to let this bed in and hopefully have a positive effect over the autumn and winter. At the same time I will set some objectives and plan some events and adventures for next year.
There has already been a positive shift. Everything seems more manageable and I have stopped resenting the time spent training because it is short, sharp and focussed.
And as for those exceptions? I love the freedom to set and plan my own challenges and adventures. There is a sense of pure joy I get when running where few people have run before. And it similar with events. These days I am happiest when I find those slightly off beat, low key events in new and challenging locations.
I have found a light breeze starting to guide me out of the doldrums.
